Christian Views on Marriage
Bookmark this page

Marriage is given, that husband and wife may comfort and help each other, living faithfully together in need and in plenty, in sorrow and in joy. It is given, that with delight and tenderness they may know each other in love and, through the joy of their bodily union, may strengthen the union of their hearts and lives. It is given that they may have children and be blessed in caring for them and bringing them up in accordance with God’s will.

I call upon these persons here present to witness that I, A.B., do take thee, C.D., to be my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for ricer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy law, and to this I pledge myself. [Taken from the Church of England Alternative Service Book]

N and N (Christian names only) you have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of the Church’s minister and this community. Christ abundantly blesses this love. He has already consecrated you in baptism and now he enriches and strengthens you by a special sacrament so that you may assume the duties of marriage and mutual and lasting fidelity. And so, in the presence of the Church, I ask you to state your intentions… Are you ready freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage? Are you ready to love and honour each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives? Are you ready to accept children lovingly from God and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church? [Roman Catholic Rite of Marriage During Mass]

90% of men and women will have been married by the age of 40 and, despite all the publicity and pressures to the contrary, there is a strong feeling that marriage should be forever. Although for this to be the case involves a great act of faith and represents one of the biggest compliments one human being can pay to another. The challenge of this great act of faith is by no means impossible as there are many Christian marriages which have lived and many which still live. They are quiet lives of great dedication, gradually deepening their commitment and love and because of their faith in Jesus they truly believe in the capacity of the human heart to love to the end.

In recent years, there has been such a dramatic increase in the number of divorces that now 1 in 3 or 4 marriages are likely to break down. Underlying these figures lies and illustration of considerable person suffering, loneliness and daily tension, especially when we remember the number of children involved, as there is normally an average of 3 children per family. It is estimated that something like 500,000 people in Great Britain are affected each year by the tragedy of marriage breakdown.

There are many reasons for marriage breakdown, some I will list as following;

·        Marriages which survive are lasting much longer: golden anniversaries are not uncommon

·        Women are experiencing more freedom in marriage and are desiring equality in the marriage relationship

·        The strain of economic factors often means that both husband and wife have to work; poor housing and unemployment bring added strains

·        Another factor is the isolation of the family unit away from the support of parents, old friends and neighbours

·        Instability caused by easy divorce laws

·        If one of the partners had an affair (adultery)

·        Disagreements about children

·        Alcohol abuse

·        Both are under 21 years of age

·        Terminal illness

·        If one partner had to go to jail

‘God created man in the image of himself, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them.’ [Genesis 1:27]

This shows the first roots of the idea of marriage. This quote expresses the basic goodness of marriage and the fundamental equality of the sexes.

Through the insight of the prophets, the people of the Old Testament gradually came to see the union in love between husband and wife as the mirror of God’s faithfulness towards them. It finds a beautiful expression in the final words of Tobias’ prayer on his wedding night:

‘And so I do not take my sister for any lustful motive; I do it in singleness of heart. Be kind enough to have pity on her and on me and bring us to old age together.’

The teaching of Jesus on marriage:

The explicit teaching of Jesus on this question must be set within the context of the self-giving love he asks of his disciples. We see in Jesus the capacity of the human heart to love, to forgive, to suffer and to heal: and he calls his disciples to love in the same totally selfless way, firmly believing that nothing is beyond forgiveness and that love, like hope springs eternal.

‘Anyone who wants to save his life will lose it; but anyone who loses his life for my sake will find it.’ [Matthew 16:25]

‘This poor widow has put more in than all who have contributed…for they have all put in money they had left over, but she has from the little she had put in everything she possessed.’ [Mark 12:43-44]

‘From the beginning of creation God made them male and female. This is why a man must leave his father and mother, and the two become one body. So then, what God has united, man must not divide.’ [Mark 10:6-9]

These words represent the original teaching of Jesus on the subject of divorce: the permanence of marriage belongs to the intention of his Father in the moment of creation and, therefore divorce is against the will of God. In Matthew’s Gospel, however, we have the famous phrase: ‘except for the case of fornication’ [Matthew 5:32; 19:9], which seems to suggest that from the earliest times the Christian community has struggled with the challenge of living up to the high ideals of Jesus on the permanence of marriage. This tension is evident throughout the scriptures as we recall the numerous words of forgiveness and reconciliation, which must apply to marriage in a particular way.

The teaching of St. Paul

In St. Paul’s letters, there are many references to marriage, which are obviously conditioned by the customs of his time, and by the expectation that the Lord’s second coming would happen quite soon. Although he himself preferred to remain single, and some of his comments about woman would be quite out of place today, many of his ideas about marriage and family life were centuries ahead of his time, and remain as ideals for us today. And so he writes;

‘The husband must give his wife what she has the right to expect, and so too the wife to the husband. The wife has no rights over her own body; it is the husband who has them. In the same way, the husband has no rights over his body; the wife has them.’ [1 Corinthians 7:3-4]

Such love between husband and wife, perhaps, finds its most moving expression in the letter to the Ephesians:

‘Give way t one another in obedience to Christ. Wives should regard their husbands as they regard the Lord. Husbands should love their wives just as Christ loved the Church and sacrificed himself for her to make her holy… In the same way husbands must love their wives as they love their own bodies.’ [Ephesians 5:21-28]

The love equally expected from both husband and wife equally demanding and is only possible on the basis of their marriage being founded ‘in the Lord’.

The qualities of love are all well known to us;

‘Love is always patient and kind – it is ever jealous; love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offence, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth’ it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.’ [1 Corinthians 13:4-7]

The Church Assumes Full Responsibility this means it does not only perform the actual wedding ceremony but it also decides who is able to get married.

Until now, the validity of marriage only depended on the mutual consent of two baptised Christians. Such a marriage was now forbidden to protect people who might be forced or deceived into marrying in private. The process demanded many detailed laws governing a valid marriage and they are with us to this day. The most significant development in this connection is the famous decision made by the Council of Trent in 1563: from now on all Catholic marriages, to be valid must take place before a priest and 2 witnesses. This rule was not universally applied but it did have the effect of placing marriage firmly in the public sphere.

Since Roman law permitted any divorced person to remarry the only thing that would have prevented Christians from remarrying was the clear teaching on the subject in the bible.

St Ambrose was the first to write that no marriage should be dissolved for any reasons: ‘What God has joined together, let no man put asunder’ and this applies to men as well as women. St Augustine, as we have seen, followed his teacher in emphasising the indissolubility of the marriage bond, a sacrament of the faithfulness of Christ to his Church.

A few centuries would pass, however, before the Western Church would accept this teaching. It was only in the 12^th century that Pope Alexander III decided that mutual consent was the basis of a valid marriage and that, of itself, it was an unbreakable contract. Since then, the Church has always held that a property celebrated and consummated marriage cannot be dissolved.

In the documents of the second Vatican Council, the heart of marriage is described in the following terms; ‘an intimate partnership’, ‘a communion of life and love’, ‘the mutual gift of two persons’ ‘a conjugal covenant’. It is described in a beautiful passage from Gaudium et Spes:

‘A man and a woman, who by the marriage covenant of conjugal love “are no longer two, but one flesh render mutual help and service to each other through an intimate union of their persons and actions. Through this union, they experience the meaning of their oneness and attain it with growing perfection day by day. As a mutual gift of two persons, this intimate union, as well as the good of the children imposes total fidelity on the spouses and agues for an unbreakable oneness between them… just as Jesus loved the Church and handed himself over on her behalf, the spouses may love each other with perpetual fidelity through mutual self-giving.’

Annulment

The church sees marriage as a sacrament when entered into by two baptised persons and believes that a marriage entered into freely by a man and a woman consummated by sexual intercourse cannot be dissolved. There are however certain circumstances which the church accepts as grounds for an Annulment.

What is the declaration of nullity?   

Despite the fact that the wedding took place, there were circumstances, which prevented the marriage from properly existing. The church tries each case and there are 3 circumstances in which a marriage is not valid.

• When a barrier exists to prevent the marriage e.g. When one of the partners was incapable of having sexual intercourse
• When the marriage ceremony did not take place as required by the Catholic Church e.g. if the couple got married in a registry office.
• Where the partners did not fully understand and were not free to marry.

 Unconditional love

This means that you love somebody no matter what the change in circumstances is. E.g. If they are terminally ill, or have financial problems, unemployed etc. you will still love them to your hearts greatest capability.

Other Notes in this Category

1. Abortion
2. Christian Views on Marriage
3. Euthanasia

Didn't find this useful?

• Visit Coursework.Info for over 14,000 GCSE, A-Level and University Essays